Madeline and I went and got some groceries, after (though not because) I discovered that the two books I still had out from the library are in fact going to be overdue on the 12th. Naturally, I said to myself, I'll just EXTEND them. This had been my pseudo-plan from the very beginning! Haha, Andrew out-thinks the system yet again!
"Error: This book could not be renewed."
"FUCK!!!"
So I'm looking for the post-office that Google Maps pointed me to, on 7th Ave. and Garfield street, so I can mail this goddamn book back to Ottawa by express post before I get slammed with another late fine...
Madeline: "Your book is overdue?"
Andrew: "Yeah."
Madeline: "Why not renew it?"
Andrew: "Tried. Won't let me for some reason."
Madeline: "Why didn't you renew it before you left?"
Andrew: "Well, you know, about that, I was going to, and..."
Madeline: "..."
Andrew: "Uhm... yeah, uhh, well... Hey, wait, what the fuck? This 'post office' is just a mail box!"
We ate some lunch and I, determined to find a proper post office - one with stamps and all the other 'CIVILIZED' accountrements of contemporary postal services, for reference you bloody savage Yanks - set out downtown. Actually, we set out to see the Met (shorthand for Metropolitan Museum of Art, which I say not to be pedantic but because I didn't actually know until today, or wasn't sure I knew, and was using 'Met' to be safe, but could easily have been persuaded that the Met was really inside the Statue of Liberty, which was obviously in the heart of Queens, and specialized in miniature postcards - thank god no one tried).
The Met was nice but, well, full of the 'usual' pretty paintings and expensive old things (Picasso, Matisse, Braque, Rubens, Pollock, El Greco, god do I NEED to go on?!?). However, the first room we walked into was the Egyptian exhibit, but seeing as I am currently staying at the temporarily vacated residence of an Egyptologist and his wife, whose apartment is in fact filled to the brim with thousands of bizarre, gaudy, and ocassionally rare and probably expensive pieces of Egyptian memorabilia and miscellany, we felt we'd already had enough.
Amusing exchanges:
How Andrew selects an exhibit!
"Hey Madeline, let's decide on an exhibit!"
"Okay."
"Let's choose European paintings!"
How Andrew comments on Christian sacred art involving Mary and Baby Jesus!
"G'DAMN. Is that a giant tumour sticking out of Baby Jesus' hea.... oh wait, that's Mary's bre... ohhhhhhhh."
So rather than boring you with tedious and most likely wildly and embarassingly ignorant critiques of famous art, I'll just post my favourite painting for this evening:
The artist is Viktor Brauner (1903-1966). The painting is entitled "Prelude to a Civilization" (1954). For legal reasons I am apparently required to say this image comes from http://www.metmuseum.org. For anyone interested, the full link is: http://www.metmuseum.org/toah/ho/11/euwco/hob_1999.363.13.htm
Okay, there you go. Pretty painting of some kind of cow. No, wait, horse. Done in a primitive cave painting style. What you can't really get from the web representation is the sheer crisp beauty of his drawings, his sharp and stunning colour contrast, all set against this incredible black scratchy/fuzzy rough texture. It was really gorgeous. If I were a proper art critic I'd probably call this primitivism or something like that, but since I'm not I'll just call it AWESOMISM.
After the Met we got hungry and went down to 14th street to grab dinner and check out this Graphic Novel exhibition/talk/presentation thing at the giant Used/Rare/New bookstore called Strand Books - by this point totally forgetting that I was supposed to find a post office. Oh well.
We went to some Japanese restaurant called "Moshi Moshi Japanese Food" which isn't actually its name but sounds fucking plausible, and maybe one of these days I'll remember what establishments I go to.
INTERMISSION!
Woah I just remembered that while walking around Brooklyn looking for what turned out to be a large metal can with a one-way hinge-slot, we came across this incredible Super Hero Supply Store (I do not kid!), sporting such wonderful slogans as, "Many Items are Splendid!" "If items do not suit you, you are not a Superhero!"
BZZT!
So Madeline ordered the vegetable tempura with edamame and I got the same but with rice and this awesome ice-chilled sake - the smoothest I'd ever had - called "Beautiful Boy", which I did NOT in fact select because of its name, but rather was the affordable option presented enthusiastically by my waiter. Honestly!
After this we went to the Strand for the 7:00PM event. Two graphic novelists from Seattle were presenting their latest works and discussing them. The first was Megan Kelso with "Squirrel Mothers", which involved porches, stoops, and "Important Places" - to her, anyway. Apparently I get twitchy and fidgety when I'm bored, because I was definitely bored for this one.
The second novelist was more interesting. Ellen Forney, novel "I Love Led Zeppelin", gave a multi-media presentation on music, Camille Paglia, almost dating Camille Paglia, and dramatic car-crash deaths.
However the fine nuances of all this were lost on me since the person who introduced and later interviewed them was gorgeous, and had this adorable flappy-wing hat with actual mouse-ear type things sticking out the top. And he was beautiful, almost certainly gay, artsy, and in New York! And he got heckled by some stupid jerk, about his hat.
I got this really crazy idea that maybe I should ask him on a date, offer to buy him a drink, or... SOMETHING... like some wild, insane, romantic thing out of a Richard Linklater or a Godard film, but I chickened out at the last moment, which now in retrospect I kind of regret, even though I probably would've been summarily rejected as some kind of weirdo, because I mean who really does that?
"Hey there. I, uhm, really like your mouse ear hat."
"Thanks."
"Uhm. Want to go get a coffee? You're dreamy."
"Security!"
But damn, what if there had been a chance he'd say yes?
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